Disobedient
by Ichihime Kurosaki
Summary: In which Ichigo had a bad day and comes home to hear something he doesn't like... And when he tells his wife to do something, she simply responds: "Eh... I don't feel like it..."


**Disobedient**

**Author's Note:** Another fic. that is purely crack. Um… So, I was forced to watch SpongeBob SquarePants with my little brother and you know I just have to give credit where it's due. And the episode last night was inspiration for this fic. so… But, come on, let's be honest – _some_ episodes are pretty funny. It may be proven to kill brain cells, but oh well! I love SpongeBob and I really – like really – don't want to hear any complaints about it b/c this fic. is nothing like the episode. So no reviews or PMs about hating on Mr. SquarePants! Please and thank you!

And I take it that Anatomy was enjoyed so per request from a few of the reviewers, I will add another chapter and make it a two-shot. ;) I am just not sure if it will be smut or not. Probably not though – just maybe a flashback will hints to what they did…

**Disclaimer:** Bleach and its entirety belong to Tite Kubo. SpongeBob belongs to Stephen Hillenburg.

_Read, enjoy, and review!_

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**Summary:** In which Ichigo had a bad day and comes home to hear something he doesn't like... And when he tells his wife to do something, she simply responds: "Eh... I don't feel like it..."

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**_~X~_**

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The day had been a stressful one. There must have been something in the water because all of them patients at the hospital were absolutely I – N – S – A – N – E.

**Weird.**

_Crazy._

Loco.

**_Off their rockers and Tatsuki-angry-type-psychotic! _**

One lady had actually tried to bite Ichigo. BITE! And she had no gums! He had scrubbed his arm with soap and hand sanitizer for about twenty minutes straight. And every now and then he went back to the sanitary station to scrub his skin again. And after someone came into the lobby screaming for help because they got Bleach on their skin, he snapped to Ishida: "What the hell?! When did the hospital turn into mental institution? We help the physically ill, not the mentally ill! This isn't a psyche ward!"

Even though he was only an eight-year resident at Karakura Hospital he was still working his way up but was a renowned and - very much - respected doctor. He was one of the best in the hospital and had been working grave yard shifts more recently because one of the on-call ER doctors was on vacation…

So now it was close to six and he still had not left yet, meaning he would probably be stuck will another shift well into the night…

He was walking out of another patient's room – a married woman who was suffering from severe body aches and chills with a runny nose; symptoms of an oncoming flu no doubt – as he was coming to the conclusion that he might not be home for dinner. Again.

Surely his wife wouldn't be happy about that. She would probably wait up for him and not eat herself. She'll probably cry again at him working so hard and not getting enough sleep or eating enough food and having to start the system all over again in the morning….

Ichigo let out a big sigh as he walked to his office with the patient files. Stopping at his assistant's desk to pick up some paperwork, he said:

"Esumi, has my wife called?"

"Actually, yes, she did. As did Hitsugaya-san. She said that she would like it if you picked up the phone when she called," Esumi Fujimoto replied.

"Ugh, so Karin called? No – no Hitsugaya-san. Just Karin or tiny Kurosaki twin, especially because she _is_ a Kurosaki twin," he explained, really not liking that his baby sister was married already.

_'She's only 23!_ _I should have said 'I object!' I could have saved her!' _he protectively albeit traitorously thought. And by getting caught up in his thoughts, he missed what his assistant had said.

Esumi cleared her throat again. Ichigo jumped and blinked before focusing on his assistant again. He blushed and said: "Yes?"

"I said "okay" to your _request_ to call your sister by her given name and that your wife said the twins are kicking. You missed it – again," Esumi deadpanned.

Ichigo turned even redder and grunted his acknowledgment before thanking Esumi and stepping into his office. He almost slammed the door shut but caught himself before he disturbed the patients in the hospital. He threw himself down onto his desk chair and closed his eyes, rubbing his temples. Someone knocked on his door and before he could even open his mouth to decline the company, the door was flung open.

Isshin Kurosaki pranced into the room and twirled around like a ballerina.

"My son! Oh! MY PRECIOUS BOY! You look so handsome, just like Daddy!" he shouted as he jumped around the room, swinging his arms around and tiptoeing closer to Ichigo like a professional ballet dancer. "How is my gorgeous, well-endowed, daughter-in-law? Oooh! How are my grandchildren?! And Masaki? Oh, I just love my family! See? You gave another set of my own children! Just backwards! A girl and two boys instead of a boy and two girls!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Ichigo roared and jumped up from his seat.

He swung at his father, aiming for his gut but Isshin deftly dodged it. He directed a round kick to Ichigo, who in turn caught it and threw his father into the opposite wall. Isshin jumped up and tried to pounce on Ichigo but he ended up sprawled on the floor with a shoe print implanted on his face.

"Ichigo! Great job! I have nothing left to teach you, son," he said as rubbed his face, giving Ichigo a thumbs up.

"You say that all the time," Ichigo said with one hand pinching the bridge of his nose while the other was in a fist on his desk. "What the hell do you want? I'm trying to run a hospital-turned-mental-asylum and I don't have time for your damn antics!"

"Mou~, well maybe I won't tell you then," Isshin said as he sat Indian-style with his arms crossed over his chest. He turned his head to the side is defiance and pouted.

"Old man!"

"Fine, fine! Don't' get your panties in a bunch!" Isshin said as he jumped up and embraced his son. "Karin is home and we're having dinner! We want you to grace us with your presence! And bring the family… Karin wants to meet her niece and Yuzu hasn't seen her since she got pregnant, but now she needs help from Orihime-chan. Oh, my! Orihime-chan and Yuzu are pregnant at the same time; how wonderful… for me! More grandchildren! Now only if Karin would step up to the plate…"

"Oi! Get to the point," Ichigo huffed impatiently.

"Oh, yes… I want you to go home and get some rest and get ready for a night full of **_FUN_**! Don't worry I found someone to cover your shift! Meaning Ishida! He owes you anyway, so ta ta for now," Isshin said as he skipped out of the room.

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**_~X~_**

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As Ichigo was gathering his stuff to leave there was another knock on the door. Uryū Ishida was standing in a way that only he could have pulled off with a hint of Quincy pride and arrogance.

"What are you still doing here? I would have thought that you would have run out the second you heard you could leave," he said as he adjusted his glasses.

"Yeah, that's what I'm going to do now; run all the way to my car and don't even look back… Thanks, by the way," Ichigo said sincerely.

"No problem. Just doing what we nakama do for each other… Besides, it bothered me when Tatsuki said she felt bad for leaving Orihime alone last night. She said that Orihime was lonely a bit. She misses you coming home for dinner and whatever your family does in the evening, am I right?" he inquired.

Ichigo sighed and looked at the picture of him and Orihime on his desk. He lightly traced he smile, smiling inwardly.

"Yeah. I do too… Anyway, thanks Ishida. But if you'll excuse now, I have a wife and kid to get home to," Ichigo said as he briskly walked out of the office. He nodded to his assistant and gave a single wave back to Uryū.

Uryū smirked as he walked into Ichigo's office and picked up some files he left on the desk. He stopped when we caught a glance at the picture Ichigo had been looking at. He smiled a little at the pure happiness on the face of his best friends. Orihime was beaming as usual but Ichigo had a pure, genuine smile on his face…

"You're welcome, Kurosaki…"

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**_~X~_**

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As Ichigo drove home, he thought that the rest of the day would actually be good. He honestly – to Kami – believed it…

He had a plan:

He would go home. Kiss the living daylights out of his wife. Kiss her bump and say 'hi' to his boys and tell them to stop giving their mother hell. Then he would try to feel one of them kick or move – trying to get a reaction from them with soft caresses and his voice. Then he would look for his monkey. They'd play for a bit and then he'd take a nap with his Hime before they'd go to his dad's house…

If only things would go his way…

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**_~X~_**

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As soon as Ichigo walked into the house, he knew something was off. There were no sounds of feet rushing to the door as he yelled "I'm home". There were no shouts of "Ichi!" from the kitchen or living room. No crashing indicating that either Masaki or Orihime – or both – had fallen…

It was quiet. And unnerving…

"Orihime? Saki? I'm home!" he tried again.

He heard giggles coming from the living room and an attempt from someone to keep whoever else that was with them quiet.

"Shh! He'll hear us and I don't want to get caught! He's not supposed to be home this early," a voice -that he recognized as Orihime's - said.

He stopped in his tracks…

_Caught?_ **_Caught?!_**

**Get caught doing what?!**

_'Let me find out that there is another man in there! I'll rip off his -' _his crude thoughts were stopped by another giggle.

He put down his stuff and rolled up his sleeves. This _'someone'_ who was trying not to get caught with his wife was about to experience something they didn't want to. And then his wife would hear his mouth! Damn! She could be lonely, but she didn't need to find solace with another!

Ichigo started walking towards the living room again when another voice squealed: "Okaa-san! He's coming! Otou-san is coming!"

"Masaki, I told you to sit so we don't get caught, sweetheart!" Orihime chided gently.

_'Saki is in on it too?!'_ Ichigo thought stopping again. _'Done! That is it!'_

With his new resolve, Ichigo stomped into the living room and barked: "What the hell is going on?!"

Orihime and Masaki jumped but stayed in their seats on the couch. Masaki crawled onto her mother's couch and snuggled into her embrace. Orihime smoothed down her hair and placed a kiss onto the crown of her head. They were acting as if Ichigo hadn't spoken at all.

Ichigo stared bewildered at them and stomped around the couch to look at them in the eyes. They both moved around him to get a better look at the TV. Ichigo turned around and saw that they were watching something about some moving sponge and ugly ass squid and fat crab. He stepped back into their line of sight.

"Can you answer me?" he fumed.

Masaki and Orihime shared a glance before Masaki answered: "Nah… I don't want to..."

Ichigo gasped somewhat in an unmanly fashion and gawked at his three-year-old daughter.

"What did you say?! Masaki! Why would you say that to me? I'm Otou-san, remember? You respect me," he explained. She just moved around him to look at the TV again.

"Orihime, do you hear her? Can you at least look at me? And who were you talking to earlier about being caught?" he bombarded his wife with questions.

Orihime simply caught Masaki's eye again and tried to hide her smile. She bit her tongue to stop from laughing and pretended to ignore him.

"Oh Kami! Even my wife is ignoring me! I had the most awful day imaginable and – you know, I got bit! Bit by a woman who thought she had rabies. She had pink eye and thought that because she got bit by her dog, that she contracted rabies. And then my dad comes and irritates me and I had to wash my arm fifty million times and another lunatic came in screaming about Bleach! Then I come home and you two are acting like – like! I don't know but you're just acting like a word I can't say because it's bad and – Oi! Why are you laughing?" he yelled, his face slightly turning red from lack of oxygen due to him yelling without stopping to breathe.

Orihime and Masaki had burst out laughing and were now both clutching their sides with tears running down their faces.

"Stop! It's not funny! Hime!" Ichigo said and stomped his foot like a spoiled child.

Orihime sat up - wiping some of her tears – and looked at Ichigo for the first time since he came in, which almost sent her off into another round of laughter. She took in a deep breath and looked at Ichigo in the eye with such a straight face that he almost shocked.

She looked him dead in the eye and said: "Eh… I don't _feel_ like it… So beat it Kurosaki!"

1… 2… 3…

Orihime met Masaki's eye again and bust out laughing harder than the first time, when Ichigo's jaw hit the floor and a vein popped in his head.

Ichigo closed his mouth and stomped over to the couch. He picked up Masaki and threw himself down next to Orihime. He wrapped an arm around each female and said: "And if I make you _feel_ like it?"

Masaki squealed and ran to her room, slamming the door shut. Orihime gasped.

"Traitor!" she yelled as she stood up and took a few steps from the couch towards the stairs.

She stopped when she felt an overbearing Reiatsu behind her.

"Hime… Turn. Around."

"I don't feel like it?" she offered in a weak whisper and giggled nervously.

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**~X~**

**Later that night:**

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Orihime was brushing her hair, getting ready for bed, when Ichigo walked into the room…

"She's asleep," he said as he started unbuttoning his shirt.

Orihime looked at him through the mirror of her vanity and felt her eyes grow thrice in size. She took a deep breath and blushed. It had been a while and she had forgotten how beautiful her husband was under his clothes. She caught his eye and looked away when he smirked at her…

She went back to brushing her hair and after a couple minutes, she placed the brush down and got up. She walked towards him slowly watching as his eyes followed the movements of her hips; watching as she purposefully sashayed to him.

She placed a hand on his bare chest while the other fiddled with the draw string of his sweat pants.

"Ichigo, you know it's early and Masaki is a deep sleeper," she whispered as she looked up at him from under her lashes.

Ichigo tightened his grip on her hips and leaned down until his lips were hovering over hers…

"Nah… I don't _feel_ like it…"

1… 2… 3…

"**_NANI?!_**"

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**_~X~_**

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**Fin!**

**Mistakes will be fixed tomorrow. An update for ****_Pushing Boundaries_**** and ****_Remembrance _****will be up soon. Most likely Remembrance tomorrow. Followed by the second chapter of ****_Anatomy_****. And would you look at me?! Two fics. in two days and updates? Yeah! Whoo!**

**BAM! That's how I roll! Lol XD**

**Questions? Comments? Concerns? **

**I.K.**


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